You want to know what bothers me the most? I don't remember what it was like. To be truely, genuinely happy for myself. I'm not talking about someone making my day a little brighter, or how I get when Donavin's around, or when someone compliments how well I write. I'm talking about when I'm alone and its just me, alone.
Apparently this is part of the "process" and I've "entered another stage" blah blah freakin blah blah! I just, I've never been this way. I'm THAT girl. I'm the girl who has the self esteem, the ego, everything. I look at my life and I feel like I wasted alot of time and time is just continually getting faster and faster.
I just, have alot going on uptown ya know? Too much to process sometimes, so I put it off till "later." I feel like I didn't let other people down, they expected this. I let myself down. I hate it. I hate this stupid feeling and I hate me right now. I HATE ME. I hate that I can't admit to myself outloud, on paper, on a fucking computer.. how I really feel about him.
Its a process, and I'm learning to breathe again.
About Me
- Wittyforachange
- I write because sometimes words are the only thing that can save you.
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