How do you heal a broken heart?

Do you know what hurts the most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before... I miss my brother... I miss my friends and most importantly? I miss me. I'm okay, I mean I know I'll be okay. I probably am and just don't know it yet. Leave it to me to be stubborn like that. Its just sometimes when I don't have 10 million other things going on, I break. Its the only way that I've been able to get "over" it. Force myself into so much that I have no other choice but to focus on something else. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to not feel at all... I don't know... its just one of those days I guess.

Relationship boo boo's.

Sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing to myself. I walk into relationships with the full intention of not becoming emotionally invested and than WHAM! There I am, caring about things a few weeks ago I couldn't have given a shit about. Its in my nature to care though, I'm a virgo. We have compassion and I'm a firm believer that its both a blessing and a curse. Do not confuse caring for being weak though. I pride myself on being a GREAT judge of character when it comes to people. Its a trait that hasn't let me down yet.

They say that when you have a hard shell you're "bitchy" "rotten to the core" or "stone cold" if you will. I say, you're just protecting yourself. Look, lets face it you guys.. we're on put on this planet for one thing and one thing only and thats selfishness. We are all selfish human beings. Anybody who disputes this fact is obviously in denial. Sure there are people that put others before them, but I hate to be the bearer of bad news, those people weren't always that way...

I think the reason I'm so distrusting of people is because I've smartened up. I know what its like to hurt and to be hurt. It doesn't feel good for anybody, trust me! So why do we, as humans continue to put ourselves though this? Isn't it bad enough that when we invest so much time into a person, they disapprove and we're left with what? Heartbreak? Who wants that? Nobody willingly goes into a relationship thinking "I can't wait until she breaks my heart"

I have no idea why I started writing this, its late and I'm in the middle of pretending I don't care and caring. Relationships are confusing and I don't think anybody is ever really good at them...

Yeah.. enough of that.

Social Media Sites...

By popular demand I've decided to take the top suggestion for this weeks blog. Surprisingly enough we had alot of requests for social media sites, much like the one you're probably using now. I think I pride myself in knowing that I was one of the first people on myspace when it first began. Sadly not into much of the trends that came with it, I quit it and moved on to Facebook. Now I've been guilty of alot of things and falling victim to facebook is one of them. What happened to the days when poking people wasn't acceptable? Or if you just wanted to talk to someone you would text them or call? Maybe stop by while you're in town? I think I've been sucked into facebook as much as I have because I'm a vain person. No kidding, its my antheme. After facebook of course came twitter. Is nothing sacred anymore in this world? I mean, sure I tweet alot, but do you really have to tell your "followers" that you just took a shit and need some juice? Its rediculous the things people post about their home lives. Again, I am guilty of being an over achiever on twitter also... but thats because I have no shame, and I've been dealt a bad case of "doesn't shut the fuck up," I've always had a gift to entertain though, so the audience is something I do enjoy.

Its been an irritating day.

I don't like to talk about politics, and not many things irriate me... except one. Can someone shut Sarah Palin the fuck up already??

Besides that Alaskan retard Palin... I also really loathe Megan Fox. And its not because she's pretty, because believe me I've seen prettier.. she's a terrible actress, she's NOT all that cute and she comes off as the biggest fucking moron in interviews.

If LOST were a reality and Sarah Palin and Megan Fox were on that flight, I would have been happy and that would have been a finale I could get behind.

and if I seriously hear one more time that gays shouldn't have rights, I will seriously punch a mother fucker. EVERYONE CREATED EQUAL. Personally? I'm very open about what I want and who. I'd be just as happy with a woman than I would be with a man. Why? Because I'm comfortable where I am in my life as a person. Happy is happy so why would anyone want to interfere with that?

Another thing that I've found completely annoying and unflattering. "Hollering" What the fuck is hollering? Speak English you dumb ass. Don't holla at yo boy" Talk to your boy.. or whatever the fuck you're getting at. Get a fucking education because when you speak in tongue, nobody fucking understands you.

Betty White, you are old. Sure I would like to bite you like a vampire and keep you around, but lets face it. YOU ARE OLD. If there's one thing I hate more than Alaskin retards, people who don't speak properly and Megan Fox... its old people.

♫ I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes ♪

I don't think so much about whats going to happen. I never plan much of anything. Looking back on my life now I can totally see where that was a major issue. Life is boring... until you're having fun. I think that because I started working at a young age, I'll always carry that trait with me. These past 6 months of not working have been HELL for me. I can gladly admit that. I'm a worker bee, always and forever. My problem was obviously that I didn't care. I was at a point in my life where all I wanted was to be left alone so I could die. Emo, depressing shit I know, but thats how I felt.

I think that the lingering feelings are part of our growth. Like we need to feel them to know that everything's going to be okay. Not everybody's the same though and I won't be speaking for everybody in that sense.

I had a job interview today so I really hope it went well. I'm in desperate need for my normal back.