Butterflies and chaos...

Holy long time, no blog! It's been a whole year (give or take a month or so)since my last blog. I don't necessarily believe that's a bad or a good thing. Looking back on my last blog is good reassurance for me, in regards to my travel. Life is... tricky. What's that saying, "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it." I don't know John Maxwell, but I can't help but feel like he was on to something with that one. I'm serious. Think about it. Think of something that happened to you this morning. How did you react? My shining example of course will be my dog (which I will get to later) crying in my ear because she wanted to be out of the bedroom. While, it probably would have been just as easy to get out of bed and let her out. I really wanted to sleep, so I let her cry. Which caused quite the reaction with members of the house (furry friends and humans) who screamed about it until I actually did wake up (three hours into)Who was my four legged friend's stubborn crying hurting? By the reaction she got, and continues to get on a daily basis, you'd think she had viciously mauled something. I guess my point is... you can't spend so much time worrying about the little things. Over-reaction is a major problem for those around me. Myself included... (sometimes) You miss out on all the big things that way. Speaking of big things. My, what a year does! I am still in recovery as far as my grief goes, but for the first time in my entire being, I feel lighter. I never really believed that this would be a route I'd take in life, but here I am. My soul is smiling, my heart is singing and I'm happy. Like genuinely down to the bone, happy. I suppose nobody knows me better than you guys. You continue to stick by me, blog after blog. Location after new blog location. You know my heart, my words, my being, my whole self. This. This is a HUGE step for me. He's making me break all of my rules though. Really changing the way I see things. It's good. He makes me forget all about the day to day bullshit that I am constantly being put through. (relationship w/ my mother is not well. Work is basically ruining my life) He just... came into my life exactly when I needed him the most. and that's important.