You turn me inside out

and I promised myself I wouldn't let this friendship go to waste.

I came face to face with the realization that YES, I did have a nervous breakdown. I kind of always knew, but now I really know. It's hard to admit that we're broken. For me it's always been hard because it's not who I am. I'm the girl who survives, regardless.. and I didn't. My brother dying destroyed me. It did. Soon after I hit rock bottom and just... emotionally imploded. There's no better way to put it. I lost friends.. (and I'm not talking just a couple.. I'm talking ALOT) because they couldn't handle me at my worst. Really puts that saying "if you can't handle me at my worst, than you don't deserve me at my best" to heart. You really know who your friends are in times of trouble.

That being said? I just really want to thank you guys(and you know who you are) for always having my back. For asking how I'm doing. For offering limitless support, even when I didn't want it, or made it hard to give. I'm not an easy person to get along with when I'm upset and the past year and a half has been hell. I'll say it. You might not, hell.. you might even agree.. it's been hell.

I'm a better person for not having to go through this alone. So thanks.